Extremely Upsetting....

I know that I have promised pictures and stories of our latest adventures, but I haven't had a ton of extra time. With the holidays, we are staying very busy. I wanted to write this post because I know that some of you are looking for something new to read and this topic has been on my mind a lot recently.

For those of you who have known me for a long time, may have heard me talk about being a surrogate. It's something that I have wanted to do even before I fully understood what it all really meant. If anyone remembers the NBC show Sisters that aired during the 90's, you might remember that one sister was a surrogate for the other. Anyway, that inspired me at a young age to want to have a baby for someone else. As I have gotten older and realized that carrying someone else's baby is much bigger than I originally thought, it's still something that I wanted to do. Now that we are done having children (maybe.... LOL), I wanted to look at the requirements for being a surrogate mother. I knew that I probably wouldn't qualify because of my weight, but I wanted to just see what would happen if I submitted my information. Mom: Stop freaking out... I wasn't approved. =)

I filled out the application and I was turned down because I don't have maternity coverage. I asked if that was all I needed and she paused for a second... I said, 'Is it my weight?' And she said that it would be better if I lost a little more weight because the parents are very particular about the health of their surrogates... very understandable. But then she went on to tell me that she didn't think that she would be able to match me with a couple based on my answers to the 'Questions'.
They were as follows:
1) If there were a catastrophic medical problem with the baby, would you be willing to terminate the pregnancy at the Intended Parents Request?
2) If it were determined that the baby had Down Syndrome, would you be willing to terminate the pregnancy at the Intended Parents Request?
3) If there were multiple babies, would you consider a reduction for a safer twin pregnancy?
***Now, I can't remember if they said baby/babies or fetus or what terminology they used, but I saw BABY.
The answers that you had to choose from were Yes, No and Unsure. If you answered No or Unsure, you had to give an explanation.

Bonham and I had discussed selective reduction and Downs, and we were in agreement that for selective reduction, 4 or more was too dangerous for everyone and they aren't our babies to make that decision. As for Downs , we would not terminate. Personally, I could never terminate a pregnancy. I am not the most religious person in the world, but I know that God can work miracles and he does everything for a reason. If he chose to give you a Downs baby, he has a plan for you.

So for the questions above, I answered:
1) Unsure; I needed more explanation of a catastrophic medical problem
2) No; I don't feel that this is a reason to terminate a pregnancy
3) Unsure; I think triplets would be alright and how would you choose who are the lucky two that get a chance?

Here is what the lady told me about the Intended Parents:
They have already been through so much and it's not that they want a perfect baby.... Well, it sure sounds that way to me!!!
She said that most of them are older and that the thought of having a child with Down Syndrome is too much for them because when they are gone, their child will go into a home Like there is no one else to help them out? That is hard to believe!!!
She said that less than 1% of Intended Parents Would Not Terminate a Down Syndrome Baby!!!! That is appalling to me. I know that I have never been in that situation and I know that I have never battled infertility, but how? Why? It just doesn't make since to me. Are these people Christians? It's hard to wrap your brain around
She said that the catastrophic medical problem would be a baby with no brain or kidneys, etc. They would be born dead or they would die soon after birth. I can understand not wanting to pay someone else to have your baby that will probably die, but I couldn't be responsible for terminating the baby either.

She told me to take the next year to get some things in order, lose a little more weight, possibly get insurance with maternity coverage and think a little more about my answers. It took me less than a year to think about my answers..... No, No and No!!!! The more I thought about it, the more and more it bothered me. I wouldn't terminate my own babies, no matter what, so why should I agree to assist someone else in terminating theirs? I know that they wouldn't be mine biologically, but they would be in my body and I would have to see the doctor and go through the procedure - No Thank You! Again, I know that I haven't battled infertility, so I don't really know what it's like to go through all of the pain and expense, but I know a few people that have gone through it and I know that they would never agree to abort a baby, kill a baby, terminate a fetus.... or whatever term makes them feel better about it.

Am I right or am I crazy?

I still have a desire to be a surrogate, but I know that my answers won't change. So unless there is a Christian based surrogacy program that strictly will not terminate for any reason, I will probably be waiting a reall, really long time!

I promise I will try to post some pictures soon..... =)