I was looking at the way that people make their way to my blog and I saw that some of the time it was from people googling my name at the place I work... not sure how I feel about that, but I don't want to make my blog private. So... if you are one of my customers, I hope that I never say anything that would make you see me in a different or unfavorable light. I feel like I am the same person in all circumstances, but I might be slightly more real here versus in a work environment. :)
I was looking back at a post from early 2010. In that post, I talked about the 'plans' that Bonham and I make... yep, I'm still a planner! It's in my blood! In that post, I had just enrolled in classes and was trying to finish my degree. My, how things have changed! I only made it one semester before things got REALLY busy at work and then I just gave into the work-aholic in me! Since then, my boss has been trying to help me work my way up the corporate ladder. So my plans from 18+ months ago have definitely changed.... I guess you can say a lot of things have changed in just the last few days...
A week ago, I didn't think I would be here. Dealing with this. Facing a life-changing event for our 4 year old son. My, how things have changed (again).
Tonight, after dinner, I was trying to walk Barrett through what to expect at his next appointment, which is this Wednesday. He will have a CT scan to check some extra items around his heart. My understanding is that they like make sure that there are no additional items that need attention while they are in there doing surgery. I got a call today from a lady at the hospital and she needed to ask me some questions about Barrett before this CT scan. As she was talking about what to expect, she said that he would be sedated. We talked about this a little more and so I wanted to walk Barrett through how it will go. Barrett doesn't do well in situations where he doesn't know what to expect. he takes a little while to warm up to people, etc. So I had him lay down on the counter and I tried to tell him where they would place the mask over his nose and mouth... He asked me, "But how will I breathe?" I told him, "Take a breath. Did that work? That's how you will breathe." And then we went over how the cords would lay on him. These seem like such small details, but Barrett is very detail-oriented, so I wanted to think of everything I could.
He seemed to be okay with what was going to happen. But he asked me, "Why can't the doctor do it to you?" This is probably a question that any mom or dad would ask themselves... wishing that we could take our child's place. Bonham and I have talked a lot about Barrett's future and what this all means for him. I wish that I could take his place. I wish that he didn't have to go through this surgery. All we can do is pray that God protects him and guides the doctors' hands during this surgery. We pray that the repair holds and that he won't have any complications. We pray for a long and healthy life, where he can be active and strong. We pray that Barrett will eventually have a family of his own and live to see his children and grandchildren grow.
I've had a hard time wrapping up my blog posts recently... I feel like I could go on and on, but then I also feel like there is no more to say...
Good night friends.
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