No Pictures Yet...

Okay, so I got home too late to have Bonham help me post any pictures, so I will try again tonight. I want to have a cool blog that has lots of different features, but I just don't know that I am that technologically advanced (yet).

One thing that I should probably warn you about now is that I don't like to proofread... I will do spellcheck, because the computer will do it for me, but I hate to re-read what I just wrote. I bore myself with my own ramblings.

So today is one of my last full days at State Farm and I was going to come in here and work hard with a positive attitude and try to write some business! Go Team! But the phones are down, so laziness is starting to creep into the office and overtake me!!! =) I am so excited about starting my new job. Have I mentioned that yet? I go to CPR training tomorrow and then I start training on Friday. I am scheduled to work a 12 hour shift. It will be quite a change from sitting a computer all day. Hopefully, being on my feet for the majority of my shift will help me to lose some weight and have more energy. For those of you who know me, you know that I have battled weight issues for a long time...

I was going to save this for a later blog, but I guess now is a good time to write about it. I was always a heavy child. When I got into high school, I decided to lose weight and I vowed to never be fat again. Well, that didn't really work. And I want everyone reading this to know that I am not calling myself fat so that people will say, 'oh, you're not fat'. I weigh... get ready for this... 228 pounds. If society (or my friends) don't want to call that fat, then we will leave it to medical profession. And they actually aren't as nice.... they don't say 'fat', they call it 'obese'. That is such and ugly word, but an extreme motivator!!! I don't want to be obese. I know that a lot of girls will put themselves down and nit-pick about their own looks, but please know that this is not what I am doing. I am trying to be brutally honest with you and with myself. I think that this is the only way that I will do something about my problem. It's just unhealthy (and disgusting at times). I kick myself for letting it get this far out of hand.

I have tried to lose weight so many times and I know everything that I need to do to lose weight, but I never stick with it and I normally gain the weight back and then some. I am more embarrassed about failing at a weight loss plan than I am about being fat. After I lost a lot of weight in high school, I remember getting really mad at my mom for letting me get that way in the first place. And as I started getting heavier again, I remember my mom telling me that this time it was not her fault, but mine. In a way, that comment is true, but in another way, it is still back on my parents because they taught me my eating habits. Most of my friends and family know that ice cream is my weakness. It's also my dad's, but he works hard, outside in the heat and he is a man, so he can eat things that I can't and he won't gain as much weight as I do.

I told Bobbie Jo that I am going to use this blog for multiple things and one of them was going to be almost like a weight loss journal. I am fine with people holding me accountable my asking me how it is going. I actually do better when someone is checking on me or I know that I have to 'report' to someone. I just can't afford to go to meetings or get a personal trainer, so that is why I am asking my friends and family for help.
I will admit that I hate to hear, 'should you be eating that?' or 'I thought that you were trying to lose weight?'. So I told Bonham and now I am telling all of you.... I am okay with hearing, 'Remember December' and 'Christmas Pictures'.

HERE IS MY GOAL: I want to lose 28 pounds before Christmas. The reason Christmas is so important to me is because it never fails that I look awful in Christmas pictures.... the past few Christmas's, I have either been pregnant, fat or I have morning hair! =) I want to look pretty this Christmas. Christmas pictures are the ones that people look back at in photo albums and this will be Barrett's first Christmas and I had to set a time frame for the first goal, so what better day than Christmas?!?

Losing weight is important to me for so many reasons that I'm sure I will blog about more as time goes on, but one of the most important reasons would be for my children. I don't want them to ever feel the way I did when I was growing up. I don't want them to be made fun of at school. I don't want them to be fat and unhealthy. I don't want them to blame me for having weight issues. I'm not mad at my parents. As I get older, I have realized that I have to turn this around on my own and make better choices.

After Christmas, I will be setting another goal of losing another 50 pounds before Barrett's first birthday - another photo op!

I have gone on long enough today about this.... I will add more later. I hope that if you are reading this, you will help me with my goal, whether it's an email, a phone call, words of encouragement or a prayer that I can be successful. Thanks in advance to my support team!

See ya later!