I just sent out an email to several people informing them of the new pictures posted on my blog, so if you are one of those people, please see the posting below for the pictures.... if you are not one of those people, then I just assume that you are always reading this and you didn't need to be on the mass email! =) This post is just going to be some ramblings about lack of time in the day.... no pictures, sorry.
Anyway, I am off of work tonight and I was off last night, thank goodness! I worked almost 60 hours the past 2 weeks. Don't get me wrong, we need the money, but it was hard! All of my days ran together and I felt like I never had time to get anything else done.
A lot of people ask me if I like my job and I never know how to answer that.... 'yes and no'. (I've probably said this all before... I'm just too lazy to go back and read my other postings.) I really don't know if I like it or not. I mean, who honestly likes to clean? Unless you are OCD, you probably don't just love to clean something and then 2 hours later go clean it again. In a 12 hour shift, I probably actually work less than 5-6 hours on an average night. On a busy night I may work around 9 to 10 hours. During the down time, I sit with the nurses and we talk or read, etc.
Nights are normally slower paced and 12 hours is a long time to contemplate your life goals. I find myself thinking a lot about Countrywide. I miss working there. Let me re-phrase that; I miss what is was like 2 or 3 years ago when I worked there. The last year at Countrywide was very rough on me and one my family. There were days that I hated my job, myself, my life in general. The pay was dropping so much and it was causing a lot of undue stress on our life. I was a lot happier after I left, but I still felt like I was missing something. Bonham is happy that I left. I was stressing him out to have to put up with me!
I enjoyed doing a job that I was good at and that other people knew I was good at. I'm good at this job too. They keep telling me how well I am doing and how much they appreciate my hard work, but I still feel like something is missing. Anyway, throughout a shift I think to myself, 'I'm really too good to be doing a job like this' and then I think, ' Okay, this is a career move to get my foot in the door here at Hendrick and they will train me and give me a job after nursing school' and then I think, 'But it will be forever before I can afford to go to nursing school and the hours suck!' and then I think, 'the time will fly by and the insurance is great here - you can do it!'
And then I think, 'Am I bipolar????' =) LOL
It is just weird for me to work harder and not make more money. For the past 4 years, the harder I worked, the more money I made. If I slacked off, it reflected in my pay. Granted, working on commission is very stressful, but I miss the challenge. I want to be a good employee and I want to advance, but I am not patient and it's hard for me. But I do like aspects of my job, which would be the case of any job and I know that it will take me where I want to go, I just have to be patient.... I will have to pray for patience.
So this blog is not going in the direction that I planned. I was going to talk about time....
I spent most of the last 2 days cleaning my house and trying to catch up on sleep. I go back to work tomorrow night and I will work 3 days in a row and then we have a wedding this weekend, so we won't have much time to rest. Back to the 'time' thing.... I don't have enough time in my day, that was pretty much the point of this blog! I'll end on that note! Good-bye! =)
P.S. Weight loss update: Still at 5 pounds lost. Gotta keep on keeping on.... =)
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